PixelMonki

AAARGGH. I found this. And it brought back my old traumatic memories encountering THIS type of spider in the philippines. I´m not all that with insects and spiders but this was totally different.I know you guys who grew up in the philippines would be laughing at me now and calling me a sissy but I´m not used to such huge insects here in germany. Maybe our biggest insect here could be compared to a baby ipis (cockroach).

So I was in my room that night ready to sleep thinking of nothing (or my crush) when suddenly I saw this huge mega ultra fat dinasaur decepticon spider in the middle of my room on the floor. I got into  a state of shock so I looked around to find something I can hit that ugly b*** with. I think it saw me, too and was more scared than I was and decided to start crawling under my bed! I didn´t want to step on it because it was too huge for my foot. So I decided to grab my tsinellas. I threw my tsinellas at it and *splack*. STRIKE! I demolished it and it didn´t move anymore…well that´s what I thought. Under my contaminated tsinellas there was eight 10000 foot long spiderlegs sticking out and I decided to lift  up my tsinellas with a ruler. So I could see if I sent that thing to hell. That was a huge FAIL mistake.

By the time I moved my tsinellas a little WHAAAA millions and billions of tiny spiderlets started crawling in every direction out of that motherfucker-spider so fast it caught me and started crawling up my legs and walls!
I was covered in disgust and goose bumps and wanted to run away. Out of panic I saw my ultra strong hairspray on the desk and grabbed for it. I started spraying like an insane man across the room, on me and on the floor (and accidentally in my eyes). I think I actually managed to empty the whole can. So luckily after the mist was gone I saw all of those tiny spiders lying on the floor as stiff as my sunday sayajin hairdo! I the went out of the room took the vacuum cleaner and cleanded up the massacre and jumped into the shower after that. Yep that was my traumatic incident with this kind of spider. I don´t wish this to happen to anybody.